


Almost

by Sleep_Deprived_Baguette



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Panic, Hot Chocolate, Hurt, I'm Sorry, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Only for Yamaguchi though, Sharing a Bed, Sleepovers, Soft Tsukishima Kei, Stargazing, Tears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:36:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29578989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleep_Deprived_Baguette/pseuds/Sleep_Deprived_Baguette
Summary: Almost is such a tragic word. Just a simple six-letter word can change everything. It can be the line between life and death; happiness and sadness; greatness and nothingness; success and failure; love and heartbreak.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Stars

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi whispered, his voice sweet and soft. “Look at that.” He raised an arm, pointing up at the swirling sky. His eyes were fixed ever so carefully upon a certain cluster of stars above them. The same cluster of stars reflected in his eyes perfectly, almost as if they were being projected upon a dark body of water. 

Tsukishima tried to suppress his smile as his gaze fixed on his best friend. The moonlight illuminated his freckly skin. It bathed him in a milky light, covering him in a glow. It made him look like a celestial deity. There was no doubt about it: Yamaguchi was absolutely gorgeous, and the moonlight only emphasized that. 

Yamaguchi sighed happily before letting his arm fall back to his side, nuzzling himself in the comfort of the grass. 

The night was fairly warm, but a distinct midnight breeze danced through the trees, brushing their faces ever so lightly. 

Yamaguchi turned his head to look at Tsukishima, who had been staring at him, completely lost in his eyes. The ones that held thousands of galaxies and still managed to shine brighter than any star up there.

“Tsukki,” he giggled softly. “Look at the stars, not me, silly.” A smile spread across his face as he turned to look back up at the sky. Tsukishima kept looking at Yamaguchi. How could he not? “Oh, Tsukki, the sky! Isn’t it just beautiful?”

“Yeah, it is. It really is,” he replied quietly, though the way his voice went all quiet and soft indicated that he wasn’t just talking about the star scattered sky. 

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi gasped in awe, clutching at his best friend’s wrist before pulling his arm up to point at something above them. A bright light flew across the sky; A meteor. “Look at it!” 

The gleaming streak lit up the sky as the two boys stared up at it in amusement. It was almost as if a star fell straight out from the heavens and down to earth… Just like Yamaguchi.

Tsukishima had heard people describe their significant others as fallen angels. He thought that was absolute bullshit. It didn’t make sense. An angel without wings would just be a normal person, right? So why go around complimenting your partner by saying they’re completely average and like the other seven and a half billion inhabitants of earth? 

Then came the shift in how he viewed his best friend. It had taken months, maybe even years to happen, but when it did, it changed a lot.

Tsukishima couldn’t even pinpoint when it happened or how or why. It just did. It wasn’t a big realization he just woke up one day with; it was several small things leading to a slow change of perspective. A change of perspective that shook his entire world upside down.

But when he finally came to terms with his feelings, he started to realize other things too. He realized why people wanted to compare their loved ones to something good, but saying Yamaguchi was a fallen angel was like calling him average. Which he most certainly was not, no matter how many times Yamaguchi tried to protest otherwise. 

Tsukishima couldn’t exactly put his feelings into words. He couldn’t find a specific word to communicate how much he longed for his best friend, one to say all the feelings inside him. He didn’t have an extensive enough vocabulary for that. Honestly, he didn’t even think a word existed that managed to condense all of these powerful emotions properly. 

But, if he had to choose a way to describe Yamaguchi, he’d go with ‘Yamaguchi is like the stars.’

The stars, the very objects of his best friend’s raging passion. Maybe the reason Yamaguchi liked the stars so much was because of all the things they had in common. It was actually quite ironic how many similarities Tsukishima could think of. All ones that Yamaguchi was completely oblivious to. 

It might have been a bit overused and cliché, but for once in his life, Tsukishima didn’t mind that. 

He was shaken from his thoughts by a hitched breath from the boy next to him.

He stole another glance at his friend, who kept staring intently at the sky above them, excitedly awaiting something. Tsukishima bit his lower lip, suppressing his smile.

The only thing Tsukishima knew Yamaguchi to be so excited about was volleyball, but now, gazing at the kindled excitement that lit up his green eyes, he wondered just how deep Yamaguchi’s interest in the stars went. 

“Look! Tsukki look up at the sky,” Yamaguchi exclaimed without peeling his eyes away from the stars. 

Tsukishima was slightly hesitant to look away from him, but he couldn’t disobey his friend’s excited requests. When he finally looked up, he was extremely glad he did. 

The sky was streaked with hundreds of meteors. The sight itself was enough to draw all the air from his lungs. There was something about the way the meteors slashed through the swirly sky that seemed almost… magical.

The starry night itself was a sight to behold. The sky was an ombre of various shades of dark purple and black, bleeding fluidly into each other like paints upon a canvas. It was scattered generously with stars in a way that reminded Tsukki only of Yamaguchi’s smiling face. But then, the meteor shower added a whole other level of beauty, making the glowing sky look completely ethereal. It was almost comparable to Yamaguchi’s beauty. _Almost. ___

__He nuzzled into the grass below him, feeling their delicate touch grazing over his arms and his legs, his back and his neck. They were so soft, and though they were a bit cold, it felt good._ _

__Tsukishima sighed, letting out all his worries. He could save those for another time. One where he wasn’t swimming in ecstasy, absolutely enraptured by the glowing sky. He let go and let himself be drowned in the moment._ _

__He could worry about things later. For now, he was going to enjoy the present. He was going to enjoy stargazing with his best friend under the streaky sky. He was going to enjoy the grass on his back and the chilling breeze that dusted his skin ever so lightly. He was just going to enjoy _this._ __


	2. Moon

Even an hour after the meteor shower, Tsukishima found himself looking back on it. It was so beautiful, the way the meteors streaked across the painted sky. They truly were like falling stars, painting their way across the horizon as they descended from the heavens. 

But even the cascading heavens themselves couldn’t compare to Yamaguchi. Tsukishima had never been more in love with his best friend than he was at that moment. 

The way his eyes reflected the stars as he gazed up at them in admiration brought a smile to Tsukishima’s lips. He’d been trying all night to suppress it, but he thought he might burst if he pushed it down any longer. 

Before tonight, Tsukishima only had a bit of interest in astronomy. He always thought it was a very intriguing topic and was particularly interested in the moon. But after seeing the enraptured glow in Yamaguchi’s eyes, hearing his excited little squeals and laughs and feeling his hand wrap around his own wrist, pulling at it to show him a certain cluster of stars or galaxy, Tsukishima found himself with a desire to learn more about it. 

He wanted to know more about what Yamaguchi loved so much. He wanted to spend hours in deep conversation, discussing it thoroughly. He wanted to thrill him with new facts and things he learned. He wanted to see the glow in Yamaguchi’s eyes again. He wanted it to be something they could share. Something that made him feel closer to Yamaguchi. 

“Hey, Tsukki, what are you thinking about?” Yamaguchi asked, pulling him from the sea of thoughts that whirled in his head, threatening to drown him.

“Oh,” he replied, slightly caught off guard. “Nothing really.” 

He couldn’t tell Yamaguchi that he was the thought that entertained his mind. Could he? 

“Well, it didn’t seem like nothing,” he teased. “You were smiling.” Yamaguchi turned his head to look at Tsukishima, capturing him in his gaze. 

Tsukishima felt like a deer caught in headlights. Usually, he was quite used to being the object of Yamaguchi’s attention, but there was something different about this time. The cold and calm demeanour he wore melted instantly, leaving Tsukishima exposed and vulnerable to his friend’s intense gaze. He was frozen in place as his mind raced desperately, trying to get him to function normally.

Yamaguchi tilted his head ever so slightly before a gentle smile spread across his face. “Your smile is really nice, Tsukki,” he whispered, completely unaware of the effect his words had on Tsukishima.

He was utterly oblivious to the sudden increase in the erratic, inconsistent beating of Tsukishima’s heart. He had no idea how much those words made the usually cold and bitter boy want to parade around town wearing the widest smile just for him. He was completely incognizant of how every little thing he did sent him into a state of ecstasy. He was and would forever remain clueless about how he made Tsukishima feel.

And Tsukishima was okay with that. 

He was okay with keeping these raging feelings a secret. He didn’t want to scare off his best friend. Especially with the intensity of the things he felt. Besides, Tsukishima was perfectly happy admiring from afar, never getting close to his affections. Never pursuing anything. 

If he didn’t get close, he wouldn’t take the risk and he wouldn’t get hurt. Yamaguchi would also remain unscathed this way. It was better for both of them.

So yes, Tsukishima was perfectly okay with keeping his feelings a secret. He was in love with his best friend and he was okay with him not knowing. It was better that way.

But a part of him couldn't help but wonder... _What if? ___

__“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi whispered, once again pulling Tsukishima out of the confines of his mind and back to the real world. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to weird you out. I know you can be a bit sensitive to some comments and stuff-.”_ _

__He was cut off by Tsukishima._ _

__“Hey, it’s ok. You didn’t weird me out at all. Thank you.”_ _

__Compliments weren’t exactly Tsukishima’s forte. After all, he rarely received them. In fact, the only person he was regularly complimented by was Yamaguchi. All the ‘‘nice block”s or “nice serve!’’s really made him happy, though he did his best not to show it._ _

__It made him realize just how much he relied on Yamaguchi._ _

__As he’d thought previously, Yamaguchi was like the stars. He really, truly was. He single-handedly lit up Tsukishima’s entire world—no, his entire universe— and was able to warm even his heart._ _

__Yamaguchi had helped Tsukishima feel things. He’d helped him melt his heart that had been broken by disappointment. He’d brought hope back to him. He made him strive to be better._ _

__And Tsukishima couldn’t thank him enough. He had no idea where he’d be without Yamaguchi in his life._ _

__Even if he sucked at expressing it, Tsukishima was eternally grateful for Yamaguchi, even beyond the extent of his love._ _

__“I was just admiring the sky. You’re right. It really is beautiful.” He smiled again._ _

__“What was your favourite part about tonight?”_ _

___You.___

____“Oh… um… the moon.” Tsukishima caught the gaze of his best friend. He stared deep into them, enchanted by the galaxies they withheld. He let a soft smile play across his lips as he whispered the next few words, his eyes never leaving Yamaguchi’s.“The moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it?”_ _ _ _

____The pair stared at each other in silence for what seemed like hours. Finally, Yamaguchi broke the silence with a laugh._ _ _ _

____“ If I remember correctly, you used to like the moon. Back when we were kids.” Yamaguchi tilted his head before letting out a soft giggle that filled Tsukishima with a feeling similar to that of being doused in honey. A thick, sweet bliss. “It’s kinda funny because your name literally has the moon in it.”_ _ _ _

____He smiled widely before gazing back up at the sky. Tsukishima was still gazing at his best friend, unable to look away._ _ _ _

____“Yeah. It is,” he replied finally, slumping back into the grass and looking back up at the sky._ _ _ _

____He was so close. He was almost there. _Almost_ _ ___

__

______Once again, a silence settled over the two, only this time it wasn’t drenched in gentle anticipation. It was a comfortable silence, broken only by the wailing winds picking up as the night dragged along._ _ _ _ _ _

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the short chapter. I was planning to have this be the start of the next chapter, but I decided it would make more sense as its own individual chapter. Once again, thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoy!


	3. Cocoa

As much as Tsukishima wanted to stay out all night staring at the stars... well, more like staring at Yamaguchi as he stared at the stars, the midnight breezes that had lightly grazed them hours earlier were now more like one o'clock gusts that ferociously blasted icy air onto them. They blew over the hill with vigorous force, making the hairs on Tsukishima’s arms stand up straight as he shuddered. 

He’d tried to prolong it as much as possible, but he couldn’t take the frigid air anymore. He felt like he was being drenched in ice water. The wind gusts sent violent wisps of air to attack Tsukishima. The cold penetrated his skin like thousands of needles, chilling him to the bone. 

“Yamaguchi?” he breathed, trying to keep his jaw clenched to avoid his teeth chattering. The only response he got was a soft ‘hmm?’ Other than that, Yamaguchi paid hardly any attention to him, still enraptured by the stars. 

“Yamaguchi, it’s really cold out,” he continued. Even though he was freezing, he had a feeling that his friend was completely numb to the cold. That didn’t mean it didn’t have any effect on him, though. “We should probably be heading in. If we stay out here too long, we’ll end up getting sick.”

A soft sigh left the lips of his best friend as he slowly rose to a sitting position. “I hardly noticed,” he replied, entranced. He was still completely enraptured by the skies, his attention not fully back in the real world yet. 

Tsukishima stood up and brushed himself off. Yamaguchi followed him, but at a much slower pace. “The stars…”

“Yamaguchi, they’ll be here tomorrow night, though we won’t if you get a cold,” Tsukishima coaxed lightly. He didn’t want to come off as harsh, but he was freezing and worried about their health. 

That seemed to be enough to snap Yamaguchi out of his astronomy-induced trance and back to the real world. “Awww, Tsukki, were you worried about me?” he teased. 

Once again at a loss for words, Tsukishima failed to express himself properly. So, instead of reassuring Yamaguchi that he did, in fact, worry about him, he raised an eyebrow at him.

Despite this, Yamaguchi still managed to keep his upbeat enthusiasm. 

Yet another thing Tsukishima loved about him. He was joyous and positive to the amount where it wasn’t annoying like Hinata or Nishinoya, but it still brought a smile to his own face. That was, whenever they were alone.

“C’mon Tsukki, you were right, it is freezing, let’s go inside.”

Tsukishima nodded, his gaze still fixed upon his friend. Even when Yamaguchi turned away to walk down the hill and towards the Tsukishima house, Tsukishima still looked at him with such intense adoration and happiness. His eyes softened with passion as a small, helpless smile twisted across his lips. A look no one would have ever thought would belong on Tsukishima’s face.

As soon as they’d entered the house, Yamaguchi went quiet, to not disturb anyone else. 

“My parents are gone on a work trip,” Tsukishima explained after noticing his friend’s sudden change in demeanour. “Akiteru is here but you don’t have to be so quiet. He sleeps like a log, and I really don’t care if he gets woken up.”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi apologized, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

Tsukishima tilted his head and observed him. “There’s nothing to be sorry about,” he replied in a tone that was halfway between gentle and blunt. 

“Hey, it was pretty cold out there. Want some hot cocoa?” Tsukishima asked, making his way to the kitchen. Yamaguchi’s eyes lit up at the mention of hot cocoa as an excited grin crossed his face. He darted over to join his friend in the kitchen, eagerly helping. 

Ever since they were kids, the two of them had always loved hot cocoa. Mrs. Yamaguchi always used to make it for them after a long day of playing out in the cold. As they grew older, Tsukishima had asked her for her recipe and was thrilled when she gave it willingly. He’d perfected it over the years and even added his own secret dash of cinnamon to enhance the drink. And by secret, only he and Yamaguchi knew about it.

Tsukishima started making the beverage as a comfort drink. No matter what the circumstances were, whether it be a volleyball loss or just a disappointing day or anything in between, whenever he or Yamaguchi felt a bit off, Tsukishima was quick to whip up some cocoa for the two of them. 

It was their thing.

“Tsukki, don’t burn the milk,” Yamaguchi’s voice chimed. Tsukishima turned his head to glance at him but was alarmed to see how close their faces were. Their lips were separated by mere centimetres. That was a few centimetres too much, in Tsukishima’s opinion. All it would take would be one simple, easy movement and he could be kissing his best friend. One simple movement...

Then Tsukishima’s brain turned back on. A rush of heat spread through his face as he leapt backwards, stumbling over his feet before falling onto the ground. A small noise somewhere between a grunt, a yelp and a squeak came from his lips as his mind registered what had just happened.

He’d almost kissed his best friend. _Almost._

But that wasn’t just it. They had been so close. He’d been able to see Yamaguchi’s eyes even more clearly. Though they weren’t reflecting the stars, they still looked so, so beautiful. 

Why did he even need the universe when he had the brightest star shining right before him?

He had been able to see every single freckle on his face. Every single beautiful freckle. A subconscious part of him wanted to reach a finger up and start tracing them, connecting them like dots or constellations. 

He had felt Yamaguchi’s breath against his face. The feeling of warmth brushing over his skin, tracing each facial feature ever so delicately, sending tingles down his spine, was something he never wanted to forget.

In fact, Tsukishima didn't just nor want to forget it; he wanted that again. He wanted to be close to Yamaguchi. He wanted to see the stars in his eyes, to see each and every eyelash that adorned his gorgeous eyes. He wanted to reach up and trace his freckles, to let his fingers caress the soft skin of his face. He wanted to feel his breath against his face again. 

He wanted all that and more.

He wanted to feel Yamaguchi’s lips on his own, to savour his sweet taste. He wanted to bury himself in the distinct smell of strawberries and grass: the scent of Yamaguchi. He wanted to see his magnificent smile or his enticed eyes, the ones that drove him crazy. And he wanted to be the cause of them. He wanted him to lace his hand in his own, to feel the calloused hands of his best friend. He wanted to exchange secret, excited squeezes of their palms as they strolled together.

He wanted Yamaguchi to be more than just his best friend.

Then reality came crashing down on him.

That would never happen. He couldn’t let himself get his hopes up. He could end up slipping up and telling Yamaguchi how he felt.

The same Yamaguchi who stood above him, doubling over in a fit of giggles. “That sound was so cute!” he wheezed between laughs. “Not even I would have thought that you were even capable of making such a cute noise. Oh my god!”

Once again, Tsukishima felt his face grow hot. It wasn’t completely from embarrassment at the sound he'd let slip. The fact that Yamaguchi called his yelp cute sent him into a state of flustered, ecstatic gay panicking. What the hell was he supposed to do? How could he stop his cheeks from heating up? Why was Yamaguchi’s laugh so cute? Could he return his feelings?? No, no, no. He mustn't let himself get his hopes up.

He made the mistake of looking up at his giggling friend and all was lost from there. 

When Tsukishima had said he’d never been more in love with Yamaguchi when he was gazing at the stars, he had not seen this. He hadn’t seen the absolutely adorable sight of his best friend doubling over in a fit of giggles. Very, very cute giggles that made Tsukishima forget how to function like a normal human. And this time, he was the one that caused it. 

Just the thought of him making Yamaguchi laugh like that sent a wide, irrepressible smile across his face. Soon enough, he was grinning like an idiot.

God, he was so pathetic when it came to Yamaguchi. But he didn’t mind it. He didn’t mind it in the slightest.

After Yamaguchi had calmed himself to the point where he could breathe properly again, he extended a hand to help Tsukishima back to his feet. 

They came face to face once again, remaining in silence similar to the one they’d held earlier when talking about the moon.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Tsukishima knew that. What he didn’t know or understand was why it had to be so abrupt… and embarrassing.

“Yo, Kei, your milk is gonna burn. If I were you, I’d stop gazing into Tadashi’s eyes like some sorta shoujo protagonist and stir that.”

If he hated his brother in the past, it was nothing compared to the deep, deep, loathing Tsukishima felt for Akiteru at that moment. Sure, the events of the past had caused him to develop severe trust issues and be forever disappointed in his brother, but now, oh, now he’d done it. 

Not only had he interrupted the moment he was sharing with his best friend, but he also unknowingly referenced his major crush on Yamaguchi. In front of him. 

Could this get more embarrassing? What if Yamaguchi took it seriously and realized his feelings? Was Yamaguchi seriously going to find out about his deeply repressed feelings due to his stupid brother’s joking? What was going to happen?

Maybe a snarky reply would reassure Yamaguchi that this was all just Akiteru’s stupid teasing. He tried to open his mouth, but all his muscles were frozen.

Tsukishima held his breath in anticipation, anxious to do anything. All he could do was pray that Yamaguchi didn’t take it seriously.

Instead of reacting to the comment as he’d predicted, Yamaguchi smiled softly. “Hello, Akiteru-kun,” he greeted. “We’re sorry for waking you up.” He ignored the comment completely.

“I’m not,” Tsukishima frowned, shooting Akiteru a death glare. Yamaguchi elbowed him in the ribs, silently chiding him.

“Hey, Tadashi. How are you?”

“I’m really good, thanks. Tsukki and I are making hot cocoa, you want some?”

Tsukishima hardened his icy glare as if to say ‘accept it and you will be even more dead.’ Hot cocoa was his and Yamaguchi’s thing. He had no particular desire to have his very annoying brother steal that away tonight.

Luckily, Akiteru seemed to have gotten the message. “Ah, thanks, but I’ll pass. I just wanted to check up on you two. I’m probably going to head back upstairs and let you have your _fun.”_ He shot Tsukishima a teasing smile as he waggled his eyebrows before he turned to go head up the stairs again. Did he know??

“Oh, have a nice night, Akiteru-kun,” Yamaguchi replied with a smile before turning back to a mortified Tsukishima.

For not the first time tonight, Tsukishima’s brain was an absolute mess. On one hand, he was seething with rage. Akiteru could have single-handedly exposed his feelings for Yamaguchi. He could have destroyed everything, just for the sake of a practical joke. He could have made Yamaguchi uncomfortable. He really wanted to strangle his brother. 

On another hand, his mind raced with questions. How did he know? Did he even know? Was he that obvious? Did Yamaguchi know? He wanted answers.

On the other hand, he was absolutely humiliated. Akiteru had the nerve to joke around calling him and Yamaguchi in love. He really laid his complex feelings down and made a joke about that. In front of Yamaguchi, too. He really wanted to slump into a puddle of goo. That way he wouldn’t have to deal with his embarrassment. 

“Oh dear. Um, Tsukki, we really do need to stir the milk. It’s gonna burn.” 

Tsukishima snapped back and started to use the wooden spoon to slowly stir the milk. “Sorry about him,” he apologized, his voice dripping with irritation at his brother. 

Yamaguchi smiled. “It’s ok, Tsukki. How about we forget about it and enjoy our hot cocoa?”

Tsukishima nodded. He liked that plan.

After a few minutes, the hot cocoa was ready. Tsukishima added his dash of cinnamon before pouring it into two mugs and giving one to Yamaguchi. The two went to go sit by the window to enjoy their hot drinks in peace.

Over the steam of his cocoa, Tsukishima observed his best friend.

It was no secret to himself that he was completely and totally head over heels for Yamaguchi, though he worked hard to conceal it from the rest of the world. 

He really and truly loved his best friend. He knew _that_ for sure. What he didn’t know, however, was what love was exactly.

He had done a lot of research on it when he was still trying to untangle the mess of unknown feelings he possessed, but nothing seemed right. 

According to the dictionary, love was defined as “an intense feeling of deep passion.”

While that was true, what he felt for Yamaguchi went much further than just an intense feeling. 

Yamaguchi’s eyes lit up his whole world. To him, he shone brighter than any star out there. His smile was contagious and his enthusiasm was admirable. 

He made Tsukishima strive to be better. He wanted to work harder at everything, to try more and put more effort and passion into what he did. He wasn’t afraid to yell at him either. Yamaguchi really was cool.

But it wasn’t so one-sided either. 

He wanted to watch Yamaguchi watch the stars, to observe every ounce of adoration that he held in them. He wanted to memorize every curve and dent of his smile. He wanted to make Yamaguchi laugh as he’d done earlier. He wanted to watch Yamaguchi improve and become so much better than he already was. He wanted to be there every step of the way to support him, too.

He wanted to stay up late cuddling while watching dinosaur movies. He wanted to have tickle fights and stay up late talking about the most random nonsense. He wanted to go on dates to the cinema or a cafe. He wanted Yamaguchi to confide in him with his deepest secrets and biggest dreams. He wanted to hold hands with him as they strolled through a park in autumn, admiring the gorgeous colours before pausing to exchange kisses. He wanted to stargaze with Yamaguchi and exchange astronomy facts. 

Tsukishima didn’t exactly know what love was yet, but he was almost certain that he could figure it out. 

“Hey, Tsukki, you have that look again,” Yamaguchi commented softly.

“What do you mean?”

“Your eyes are all soft and you’re smiling. You look so peaceful and happy.”

Tsukishima blinked and tilted his head, processing the thought. “I do?”

“Yeah, you really do.” He sighed, leaning up against the window. 

They sat in comfortable silence, watching the flames in the fireplace flicker as they drank their cocoa. 

“Oh, oh, oh! Tsukki guess what!” 

Tsukishima was slightly startled by the sudden enthusiastic exclamation right next to him, but when he saw how excited Yamaguchi looked he brushed it off.

“What?”

“I think I’ve finally mastered the new serve Shimada-san was teaching me.” He beamed, his eyes gleaming with pride. “It took a lot of hard work but I finally did it!”

“That’s amazing, Yamaguchi,” he smiled. Yamaguchi glowed at the compliment. “Oikawa better move over, there is a new king of serves in the game.” 

As soon as the words left his mouth, he was filled with instant regret. 

Why had he said that? It sounded a lot cooler in his head, but when it came out, it sounded lame and terribly cringy. Oh god, that was embarrassing. Why was he like this? Why couldn’t he just shut up?

Yamaguchi giggled at the bizarrely phrased compliment. “Thank you,” he managed before doubling over with laughter again, still caught up on his words.

All embarrassment had been erased from Tsukishima’s mind as soon as Yamaguchi’s sweet laugh left his lips. He could hear his heart pulsing in his ears, and he could feel his lungs seizing up, but at this point, nothing else mattered. Yamaguchi was once again laughing because of him. He wanted more of it.

“You know, Tsukki, you might seem cold and well… salty… on the outside, but you’re really just a big dork. I mean, you like dinosaur movies and strawberry shortcakes. You make us cocoa whenever either of us is feeling down. You’re super sweet and really nice, even though you aren’t the best at expressing it. Your genuine smile is also one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced, rivalled only by your laughs and, of course, anything in the sky. Oh, oh and your cute little yelp thing from earlier.” 

Well, that was it. Tsukishima Kei was officially dead. Killed by an overdose of compliments from his best friend/boy he was madly in love with. He’d never imagined that he would die so young, yet there he was, sitting in the windowsill next to Yamaguchi, completely and totally dead.

His brain had shut off and he was fairly certain that he’d forgotten how to breathe. His lungs burned in his chest as he silently gasped for air. 

“Uh, Tsukki, you good?”

Another fatally embarrassing noise came from Tsukishima’s lips as his face turned crimson. His painted cheeks were a combination of both embarrassment and lack of oxygen. He desperately tried to turn his brain back on. He needed to breathe and this was, once again, very humiliating.

Yamaguchi snorted. “I’m so sorry, your yelps are so cute. I can’t.” He clutched his stomach and tried to calm himself, but it only ended in more laughs.

The sound of Yamaguchi’s muffled giggles brought his brain stuttering back to life like an old car engine. He took a deep breath but ended up choking on his own saliva, causing Yamaguchi to laugh even harder. 

“Did you seriously just choke on your own spit?” he asked, both his eyebrows raised in amusement.

“Shut up, Yamaguchi,” he mumbled.

“Ok, ok I’m done mocking your pain.”

“You finished with your cocoa?”

Yamaguchi nodded and Tsukishima stood up and took the mug from him, their fingers brushing slightly. He felt his breath hitch as he began walking back to the kitchen and putting the mugs in the sink.

He turned around to see Yamaguchi yawning and stretching his arms. “I’m getting tired, Tsukki. Wanna head to bed?”

Tsukishima nodded as the two made their way up the stairs to Tsukishima’s room. As soon as they’d opened the door, Yamaguchi flopped onto the bed, burying his face in the pillows. 

Tsukishima laughed and looked down at his exhausted friend. “Don’t you want to change?”

He got a muffled hum in response. A few seconds passed before Yamaguchi turned his head to the side to look at Tsukishima. “Too… tired…”

Tsukishima walked over to Yamaguchi, who was already half asleep and lightly brushed his shoulder. “Hey, you should really change,” he whispered. 

Yamaguchi grunted sleepily before sitting back up. “Fine. You’re right.”

“Your regular change of clothes is in the wash so are you okay with wearing some of mine?” It wasn’t a lie. The clothes really were in the wash, but Tsukishima kept the part about secretly wanting to see Yamaguchi in his clothes out of that sentence. 

He tossed his sleepy friend a t-shirt and some shorts before heading to the bathroom to change and brush his teeth. 

When he came back, Yamaguchi was sitting cross-legged on the bed, drowning in Tsukishima’s too-big shirt and shorts. 

A rush of heat swirled to his face as he let out another quiet, embarrassed yelp, causing Yamaguchi to laugh softly, despite his drowsiness. 

He made his way to the bed, sitting down next to Yamaguchi. The latter flopped backwards onto the mattress, staring at the ceiling. Tsukishima laid down next to him.

When they were younger, the two of them had decorated their ceilings with glowing stickers. Yamaguchi’s was covered with stars while Tsukishima’s was a mixture of stars, a moon and a ton of different glow-in-the-dark dinosaurs. 

While he took most of the dinosaurs off the ceiling as he got older, he kept the stars and moon. It reminded him of Yamaguchi and him. 

“Yamaguchi?”

“Hmmm?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Being my best friend even though I’m an asshole sometimes. I know I’m not that good at expressing it, but I’m really glad to have you by my side. And I promise I’m working on getting better at expressing my feelings… to you at least. The others can go die in a hole.”

Yamaguchi rolled over so he was looking Tsukishima in the eyes. Once again, their faces were centimetres apart. He smiled. “I know you are. I’m glad to have you as a friend too, Tsukki,” he mumbled sleepily before burying his head in Tsukishima’s chest and draping himself around him like a sloth. 

For once, Tsukishima didn’t turn into a blushing panicky mess. Not only was he used to sharing a bed with him, but he was used to his clingy sleeping habits. He’d never had a problem with it in the past, and he didn’t now. He found it rather endearing, despite the fact that he often woke up with drool staining his shirt. 

But it was okay because they were best friends.

Best friends who sleep-cuddle, leaving no room between them.

Normal best friend stuff.

Because that’s all they were… best friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

He smiled down at Yamaguchi, who had already passed out. “You’re really beautiful too, you know,” he whispered, knowing he wouldn’t be able to hear it. “I wish I knew how to tell you.”

After watching the peaceful rising and falling of his best friend’s silhouette and feeling his slowly beating heart against his own, Tsukishima slowly started to give in to drowsiness. He nuzzled his head into Yamaguchi’s hair, letting his strawberry scent draw him into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the slow update. It took me a bit longer than usual to write this chapter due to the larger word count. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry that this chapter is a bit short. This is sort of like a chapter to test the waters before diving in headfirst. Anyways, thank you for reading, good luck and I hope you continue!


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